Pastors Terry & Tina Egans: Faith & Joy in Marriage
Pastors Terry and Tina Egans are a couple on the move. Not only do they maintain many important roles at their church home New Light Christian Center Church, they find time to nurture their marriage and their family. They are a living example of how God uses circumstances to strengthen our faith, and allows blessing to flow when we are obedient. Love. Work. Repeat. is honored to share the real love story of Pastors Terry and Tina Egans.
How did you meet, and how long have you been married?
Terry- Tina and I meet at her parent’s church, New Light Christian Center Church in Houston, Texas. We both were employed there but never really talked except for occasionally speaking in passing. After going through a divorce, my main focus was finding my set place in God's plan for my life and in my mind everything else was a distraction. I always admired Tina and she was definitely my type of lady but I was very passive on approaching her simply because she was my Pastor's daughter. I thought about it on several occasions but always talked myself out of it. We actually credit her mother, Dr. Bridget, who I love and respect dearly. She was the one who was instrumental in eventually getting Tina and I together. Dr. Bridget called me one day and talk to me about possibly inviting me to a get together to meet her daughter Tina. I don't know if I was more shocked that she called me or the fact that God was speaking to my heart. I came to understand Dr. Bridget and her daughters are really close and sometimes they know she feels the need to play CUPID!! I guess it's true when they say "Mother knows best.” After that intervention moment it was on. I finally approached Tina one day and asked for her number and we began talking on the phone day and night for hours at a time. In just a few days we had shared our life history and we began developing a genuine friendship that has blossomed into an exciting and incredible love affair that we cherish dearly. February 2015, we will celebrate 13 years of marriage.
Tina- Seems like it was only yesterday when we met. Terry was working in my parent’s ministry in our Resource Department. My mother actually initiated the relationship. She called Terry and stated that she wanted to introduce him to someone. Terry was thinking that she was going to introduce him to someone else because they were always traveling in ministry. After my Mom told Terry it was me that she wanted to introduce him to, he took over from there. Once he received the green light he went full speed ahead... LOL. I previously had several interactions with Terry because he worked in the Resource Department. I would always call him to order different products, so I was kind of checking him out as well but was apprehensive because he was a coworker and a member of our church.
Terry- Tina and I meet at her parent’s church, New Light Christian Center Church in Houston, Texas. We both were employed there but never really talked except for occasionally speaking in passing. After going through a divorce, my main focus was finding my set place in God's plan for my life and in my mind everything else was a distraction. I always admired Tina and she was definitely my type of lady but I was very passive on approaching her simply because she was my Pastor's daughter. I thought about it on several occasions but always talked myself out of it. We actually credit her mother, Dr. Bridget, who I love and respect dearly. She was the one who was instrumental in eventually getting Tina and I together. Dr. Bridget called me one day and talk to me about possibly inviting me to a get together to meet her daughter Tina. I don't know if I was more shocked that she called me or the fact that God was speaking to my heart. I came to understand Dr. Bridget and her daughters are really close and sometimes they know she feels the need to play CUPID!! I guess it's true when they say "Mother knows best.” After that intervention moment it was on. I finally approached Tina one day and asked for her number and we began talking on the phone day and night for hours at a time. In just a few days we had shared our life history and we began developing a genuine friendship that has blossomed into an exciting and incredible love affair that we cherish dearly. February 2015, we will celebrate 13 years of marriage.
Tina- Seems like it was only yesterday when we met. Terry was working in my parent’s ministry in our Resource Department. My mother actually initiated the relationship. She called Terry and stated that she wanted to introduce him to someone. Terry was thinking that she was going to introduce him to someone else because they were always traveling in ministry. After my Mom told Terry it was me that she wanted to introduce him to, he took over from there. Once he received the green light he went full speed ahead... LOL. I previously had several interactions with Terry because he worked in the Resource Department. I would always call him to order different products, so I was kind of checking him out as well but was apprehensive because he was a coworker and a member of our church.
How long did you date before you decided to get married?
Terry- We didn’t date long now that I think about it, we starting talking in June 2001 which quickly set in motion a courtship that lasted about 8 months; which during that time I proposed. We were both up front about what our desires and expectations were for marriage so during that time we begin planning our future together and on February 24th, 2002 we had an incredible lavish wedding celebration. Everyone was excited for our relationship and her parents made sure our wedding day was special. All I can say when I look back on that day is OMG!!
Tina- We started dating in June 2001 and married in February 2002, so we dated for 8 months. I was a single divorced 29 year old mother of 2 children and my desire was always to be happily married with children. In 2001, I went to a wedding in Louisiana and after the wedding that night I sat in my room listening to Yolanda Adams song "Talk to Me;" I cried out to God because I desired someone who would love me and my children like he loved God and my God, He answered my prayer. He did exceedingly and abundantly above all I could have or knew what to ask for in a husband, father, friend and confidant.
Terry- We didn’t date long now that I think about it, we starting talking in June 2001 which quickly set in motion a courtship that lasted about 8 months; which during that time I proposed. We were both up front about what our desires and expectations were for marriage so during that time we begin planning our future together and on February 24th, 2002 we had an incredible lavish wedding celebration. Everyone was excited for our relationship and her parents made sure our wedding day was special. All I can say when I look back on that day is OMG!!
Tina- We started dating in June 2001 and married in February 2002, so we dated for 8 months. I was a single divorced 29 year old mother of 2 children and my desire was always to be happily married with children. In 2001, I went to a wedding in Louisiana and after the wedding that night I sat in my room listening to Yolanda Adams song "Talk to Me;" I cried out to God because I desired someone who would love me and my children like he loved God and my God, He answered my prayer. He did exceedingly and abundantly above all I could have or knew what to ask for in a husband, father, friend and confidant.
What things did you see in your mate that made you want to marry him/her?
Terry- Well as a man you know what you like in a woman when you see it, and I just thought Tina was so fine and beautiful and such a fashion diva. The more I got to know Tina I just adored the fact that she was such a smart and well balanced woman when it came to her perspective on God's plan for marriage, family, and ministry. We both are very big on family and I saw how she was such a great mother to her children. Since we both had experienced the pain and failure of divorce in our first marriages, it was important to both of us to make sure we laid the proper foundation for this marriage. I believe that was the most important conviction that we both shared and expressed to each other. I saw that Tina was a very confident lady and secure in herself which allowed us to be so honest about everything. I could sense her desire and dedication to see our marriage succeed.
Tina- I admired Terry's diligence in ministry. He was always busy in the ministry and I never heard of him being in different relationships. He wrote a book "The Process of Elimination - Attracting The Mate You Truly Desire" and once I read his book I was really attracted to his view of relationship and the God Factor in his life. After my mom initiated the conversation and we talked on the phone until 5:00 am on our first phone call and his alarm went off for his prayer time that sealed the deal. I prayed for a man that had an intimate relationship with God because I knew if he had that relationship with God he would know how to treat me. I also loved the respect that he had for my parents/his Pastors.
Have you set goals for your marriage? If so, please share a few with our readers.
Terry- We both understand marriage is truly what you make of it regardless of how much you love each other. We both have learned to set goals, but most importantly establish guidelines to help keep our marriage on track with the goals we set. It's important to always set financial goals so you can properly govern your money matters. We have always set financial goals concerning how much we desire to earn and save each year, as well as give to the kingdom of God and our church. Setting goals together makes the marriage life exciting because it creates an atmosphere where you are working together to accomplish something that will benefit both of you. Once you get a revelation on the power of agreement you will realize that when you and your wife stay in agreement there is nothing you won’t be able to accomplish. One of our goals was to produce our own Television Program focused on building and strengthening marriages and relationships entitled "Date Night." The Show is scheduled to debut in 2015. We are extremely excited about the opportunity to share and minister, as well as interact with so many other couples.
Tina- Yes we set family goals, financial goals, offering goals and business investment goals. We love to travel and explore so at the beginning of every year we plan at least two destinations that we will take for the year. Some of our exclusive couple destinations that we have explored together are Hawaii, Jamaica, Punta Cana (Dominican Republic), Cozumel, St. Lucia (my 40th B-day gift), Las Vegas (our honeymoon and 10 year vow renewal destination), Luxury Cruises, Huatulco, Mexico, Cancun, Mexico, Cozumel, Mexico and so many other destinations. For the past four years at the beginning of each year, we have implemented a 21-day fast, which allows us to refocus and seek God's wisdom for the New Year. Every year we also set goals for our offering and goals on vacation destinations. We have also had the pleasure of traveling with my parents and family all over the world. We have visited many countries including Paris, France, Venice Italy, Dubai, Africa, China, Asia, Korea... and the list goes on. Even though we work in full time ministry, we are both entrepreneurs and have business ventures so each year we set goals for our entrepreneur endeavors.
What role does Christ play in your marriage?
Terry- My God! Christ is definitely the difference maker in our marriage because it keeps Tina and I accountable not only to God but to each other. It’s God’s love and mercy that allows us to tap into the grace to genuinely love each other unconditionally. God’s plan for marriage does require commitment and accountability, but it also produces the joy and fulfillment in marriage every couple search for. We both understand God has a plan and purpose for our life so it's important that we allow God to order our steps, concerning our career, relationships, as well as financial investments.
Tina- Christ is the center of our relationship. We both realize that we failed in our previous marriages before Christ was the center. We now rely on God’s grace. My daily confession is that Terry finds favor in my eyes and I find favor in Terry's eyes.
Are there couples you look up to? What do you respect about their marriages?
Terry- The first couple I saw truly committed to God's plan for marriage and ministry was my pastor and first lady, Bishop I.V. and Pastor Bridget Hilliard. I was called into ministry so it was important for me to see a natural example of what it was like to flow in marriage and ministry together. They have definitely been an inspiration and source for wisdom throughout our marriage. I believe every couple needs a positive role model in marriage to help encourage your marriage as you grow together. We have always made ourselves available to share with other couples who appreciate and value our marriage as well.
Tina- Yes my parents, they are the funniest. They have been married 39 years and have given us the tools to make it work and last forever. I respect that they have learned to respect each other and put God first. When issues arise, you deal with it and move on. My parents taught us to have family meetings to discuss issues in our marriage and only discuss those issues during meetings. As my mom, Pastor Bridget says, always "Confess the Word of God over every situation."
What do you see as the strengths of your marriage?
Terry- I would have to say one of our strengths is we love ministry. We both have a heart for the things of God, and we both love serving in the ministry. Our personalities are similar in so many ways because we love to give and help people. We always make a point to discuss with the intent to agree on those sensitive matters that if not dealt with can become major setbacks. It’s important you get to a point in your relationship that you can talk freely with each other without the fear of being judged. We realize our friends can affect our relationship so we both agree on who we allow to come into our lives or inner circle.
Tina- The strength of our marriage is our love and devotion to each other. Terry’s desire is to please me and my desire is to please him. Being single for any length of time can cause you to become a little selfish. We both had to work through that - it's not always what Tina wants or what Terry wants – more importantly, it's what do WE want. We keep our marriage strong by spending quality time with each other. Date night is a necessity, not only a time of being together but a time to reflect, communicate and express our desires for our relationship.
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How do you handle challenges together?
Terry- We always approach challenges with honesty, but also with the intent to agree on resolving the matter. We understand in marriage or life that there will be challenges that we will have to work through together. At the end of the day the wisdom of God is the final decision regardless of how we feel or if we see things differently. We realize if we go with God's wisdom on the matter we can have the confidence of knowing God will perfect everything that concerns us.
Tina- When we have challenges or difference of opinions, we generally talk it out. Each of us give our opinion on why we feel we are right then based on the difference, one of us may give in to the other; or, if neither one of us give in we either will table the issue and move on or research the best solution to an issue.
What advice would you give to couples engaged to be married?
Terry- I would advise couples today to work toward and build their relationship on trust and respect for one another. I see that element lacking in so many relationships today. I would also encourage couples to continue to grow by investing in themselves as well as their marriage. If at all possible continue to pursue more education either online or career classes. Don't stop growing and challenging yourself. Join a good church and attend marriage seminars. Many couples just assume happiness in marriage is guaranteed but its not. You must see your marriage as an investment, what you put into it is what you will get out of it.
Tina- My first suggestion before getting married is to first become friends. I truly feel like I married my best friend, he's somebody that I can talk to about anything. Secondly, is to truly know that you can trust the person because I know beyond a shadow of doubt that Terry loves me and has my back. Don't dwell on the small things. When you get married you are marrying an imperfect person like yourself and issues/differences will arise. Be mature, talk about it and move on and don't let issues be the focus of your relationship. Date your mate frequently to keep the excitement alive.
Terry- We always approach challenges with honesty, but also with the intent to agree on resolving the matter. We understand in marriage or life that there will be challenges that we will have to work through together. At the end of the day the wisdom of God is the final decision regardless of how we feel or if we see things differently. We realize if we go with God's wisdom on the matter we can have the confidence of knowing God will perfect everything that concerns us.
Tina- When we have challenges or difference of opinions, we generally talk it out. Each of us give our opinion on why we feel we are right then based on the difference, one of us may give in to the other; or, if neither one of us give in we either will table the issue and move on or research the best solution to an issue.
What advice would you give to couples engaged to be married?
Terry- I would advise couples today to work toward and build their relationship on trust and respect for one another. I see that element lacking in so many relationships today. I would also encourage couples to continue to grow by investing in themselves as well as their marriage. If at all possible continue to pursue more education either online or career classes. Don't stop growing and challenging yourself. Join a good church and attend marriage seminars. Many couples just assume happiness in marriage is guaranteed but its not. You must see your marriage as an investment, what you put into it is what you will get out of it.
Tina- My first suggestion before getting married is to first become friends. I truly feel like I married my best friend, he's somebody that I can talk to about anything. Secondly, is to truly know that you can trust the person because I know beyond a shadow of doubt that Terry loves me and has my back. Don't dwell on the small things. When you get married you are marrying an imperfect person like yourself and issues/differences will arise. Be mature, talk about it and move on and don't let issues be the focus of your relationship. Date your mate frequently to keep the excitement alive.
What makes your marriage work?
Terry- The truth of our happiness and fulfillment in our marriage is the result of Tina and me accepting and following God's blueprint for marriage. We safeguard our marriage by staying in agreement on what we know to be true concerning our commitment to each other. It's so easy for family and friends to dump their perspectives on your marriage when you’re experiencing challenges in your marriage. We decided at the end of the day we have to trust what we have and not let others dictate how we will conduct our marriage regardless if they don't understand our perspective on things. So many times couples allow family and the perspective of others to rob them of their marriage by causing them to make tough choices during vulnerable times.
Tina- Our R E S P E C T for each other......Respect to me is being:
Real (be true to each other)
Effervescent (never a dull moment in the Egans house)
Selfless (it’s not all about you, It’s about US)
Passionate (fun part of being married)
Enriching (we encourage each other)
Communicate (talk it out so you can work it out)
Togetherness (no matter what happens we work it out)
Terry- The truth of our happiness and fulfillment in our marriage is the result of Tina and me accepting and following God's blueprint for marriage. We safeguard our marriage by staying in agreement on what we know to be true concerning our commitment to each other. It's so easy for family and friends to dump their perspectives on your marriage when you’re experiencing challenges in your marriage. We decided at the end of the day we have to trust what we have and not let others dictate how we will conduct our marriage regardless if they don't understand our perspective on things. So many times couples allow family and the perspective of others to rob them of their marriage by causing them to make tough choices during vulnerable times.
Tina- Our R E S P E C T for each other......Respect to me is being:
Real (be true to each other)
Effervescent (never a dull moment in the Egans house)
Selfless (it’s not all about you, It’s about US)
Passionate (fun part of being married)
Enriching (we encourage each other)
Communicate (talk it out so you can work it out)
Togetherness (no matter what happens we work it out)
Any final thoughts you want to share with our readers?
Terry- When it comes to marriage you have to do your homework and follow your heart based on the person you choose or chose to marry. If you are serious about your marriage then I challenge you to grow up and put your cards on the table. What do I mean? Start being honest and upfront with each other and make a point to build the marriage on trust. I would also advise you to quit blaming each other for your lack of happiness and fulfillment. Fulfillment starts with your own personal emotional state which we have to take personal responsibility for. Work on being fulfilled as a person first, so you can then make the necessary deposits in your mate which will affect your marriage. Most couples spend too much time blaming each other for their lack of happiness. The Bible says we are blessed to be a blessing. Because Tina and I have reached a place of personal fulfillment it's so much easier to make emotional deposits in our marriage so that we are being a blessing to each other. We do for each other without any strings attached and it always results in a more loving and caring attitude toward each other. I mentioned earlier in one of my comments that God has the blueprint you need if you really want your marriage to be successful. The only question is, are you willing to trust God's plan for your marriage?
Tina- My final thoughts are to always make an effort to date each other like you did when you met. This will keep the relationship exciting. I always like to give my husband surprises, which always causes him to be in expectation. Many married couples forget what attracted them to each other because they get so busy with the day to day activities, but you have to make an effort to always keep your relationship exciting. Make quality time for each other and make an effort to always find the good in your mate. Marriage requires work on each partner’s part to make it work, so make sure you do your part and acknowledge the efforts that your spouse puts into your relationship.
We hope that you were able to pick up a few marriage jewels that you can utilize in your marriage, or in your quest for marriage. Love. Work. Repeat. wishes the Egans’ continued success in their ministry and endeavors, and may God continue to bless their union.
-JC
-JC
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Love. Work. Repeat. © 2015 All Rights Reserved
Love. Work. Repeat. © 2015 All Rights Reserved
