The Struggle is Real...But the Battle is Not Yours
By: Rev. Tamla Groce
Marriage is a wonderful institution that unites two whole people as one. At its best, it offers unimaginable bliss. At its worse, it can be hell on earth. Most couples live somewhere between these two states but depending on what is occurring in the marriage the scale may tip a little more either way. Add to this the other aspects of family life like raising children, careers and outside commitments and one begins to understand that marriage is hard work.
This was summed up succinctly for me not long ago. A few friends and I try to coordinate group time together but often have difficulty. The last time we were together a few people who had confirmed attendance had to cancel due to unexpected familial obligations. When we reached out to one friend to see what happened, she simply stated, “The Struggle is Real.”
As I reflected on her comment later that night it resonated with me. The struggle IS real! One need only hangout in Ephesians 6 for a little while to know this. While Paul wrote this letter to the church at Ephesus, Ephesians 6:10 -18 could surely be used to advise a married couple.
As I reflected on her comment later that night it resonated with me. The struggle IS real! One need only hangout in Ephesians 6 for a little while to know this. While Paul wrote this letter to the church at Ephesus, Ephesians 6:10 -18 could surely be used to advise a married couple.
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For our[b] struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14 Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. 15 As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. 16 With all of these,[c] take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints. (NRSV).
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We are to be strong in the Lord and rely on the strength of His power. Relying on God’s power to secure a strong, healthy marriage should be foundational for every Christian marriage. For like the Christians of Ephesians, our struggle is not against flesh and blood. Today there seems to be an existing culture that in some ways embraces divorce. Since Christians are not immune to the challenges of married life (we are just as flawed, fickle and funny-acting as everyone else), we need to be proactive in preparing for these potential problems.
When adultery occurs in a marriage, the spouse perpetrating the offense often still loves the person to whom they vowed to forsake all others for on their wedding day. They likely do not even prefer the new person over their spouse. Things like dissatisfaction with the challenges of day to day life, low self-esteem and lust enter in making something previously inconceivable seem appealing. It does not matter what the marital issue is – you could insert financial issues, mental illness, addictions to alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling – the root cause is usually not a person but instead a malaise that creeps in taking up residence. Often it is so insidious that by the time its effects are felt it is not even recognizable as the cause. |
Yet Paul gives us a remedy that incorporates the elements for a good marriage - truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Word of God and prayer. Truth and honesty are fundamental elements of great communication. As for righteousness, it is active and not just a state one finds oneself in by chance. Hence, doing right and not just being right are also instrumental in your relationship. In other words, proving that you are right in a disagreement is not as important as doing right by your spouse. Further there is a way that one should communicate and interact with one’s spouse -peacefully. Does that mean never disagreeing? Certainly not! You did not marry a clone of yourself so you are bound to disagree from time to time but the way you communicate with one another and how you coexist should reflect peace. Scripture tells us that for one to find a friend one must first show himself friendly. It stands to reason that the same is true for having peace – one must first show oneself as peaceful.
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One knows that having faith is essential to our Christian walk but it is also vitally important to successful matrimony. Being a faithful person allows one to see one’s spouse walking in his/her future and does not allow a marriage to be derailed by the right now. Along that same line, when one thinks of his or her spouse in relation to salvation one is humbled. If God, who knew no sin took on our sin, how can we judge our spouse as unworthy of the unmerited grace we enjoy every day. God gives us the bible as a playbook to guide us through the ups and downs of marriage. For every situation we encounter, the Word of God provides direction, comfort and, yes, discipline.
We also have the privilege of being able to go to God in prayer. There we have the opportunity to be in dialogue with God. When we are in conversation with God, we should go seeking God’s will in our lives and we should wait to hear what His will is - His perfect will for each spouse and for the marriage. Give God the burdens, challenges, and concerns that impact your marriage. As you cast your cares on Him, you will be reminded that the struggle is real but that Jesus has already overcome the world. He intercedes on our behalf. He has taken the sting out of death and the victory from the grave. We are more the conquerors through Christ Jesus! So despite the challenges we face, insurmountable though they may seem, scripture tells us the battle is not ours, it’s the Lords! |
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The battle is not yours its the Lords!
~Rev. Tamla
~Rev. Tamla
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